WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
