RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
