I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
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