ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
