how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Randomize
