Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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