It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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