just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize
