forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I don't think brook has ever known best
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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