she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
You need a sexual gate keeper
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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