My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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