I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
