hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
