ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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