If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
