ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Randomize
