My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
