I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Randomize
