I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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