There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize