and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Randomize
