i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
