nut hugger
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
