I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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