he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
