wakey wakey hands off snakey
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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