WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Pants are for mortals
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
Please don't give away my fajitas
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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