Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Randomize
