I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
