I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
