she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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