its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
