How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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