wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
