a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
