I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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