Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
