help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
