Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
