areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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