And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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