I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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