He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
