I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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