So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
