I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
