Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
