I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
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