I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Randomize
