ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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